6,631,136,127… my net worth

Ha! A few years left!

Seriously, that number represents the number of people in the world a few seconds ago. I find it humbling to watch the world population (albeit it only a rough estimate) – it keeps going up. I was born over one billion births ago. I am a small man on a large planet, in an expansive unknown; for all practical purposes – I might as well not exist.

Setting chaos theory aside for a moment – my life will never really accomplish anything. In the grand scheme of everything – I will live… and I will die… and the universe shall not abate. It has no reason to notice my existence – it will have no reason to notice my death.

I put a lot of effort into this existence – most humans do – and for what? Some justify life through a religion, some find motivation in affecting the lives of others, still some seek pleasure from life. In the end, all are based on what is here now. What we can see, touch, taste and feel – what we can control. People fight for these things – foolish people die for these things. These things are fleeting, but they are in front of us. As a race we feel compelled to act like what is here is all that is. What we have (in this life) is, in fact, so much less.

I think this is getting to people. More and more people are running from this existence. I have seen so many get lost in substances, pleasure, money… I have battled with this observation for as long as I can remember.

I am reminiscing, I am wondering, I am realizing – man is less than he thinks himself to be because he thinks himself so much.

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