There is something about writing that I used to really enjoy. It wasn’t so much the argument, or the use of exorbitant amounts of paper. It wasn’t about deadlines or imposed restrictions… after all, there weren’t any of either. It was something about the process.
Something about manipulating words to convey ideas – the feelings I was trying to understand. Sadly, college writing is not concerned with any of those. Its much more dry, painfully procedural, and a lot less fun. I’m trying not to lose that passion for the process of writing. It is hard though.
After hours of work I’ve just finished the rough draft for a paper I’ll be turning in Monday. I should feel relieved, but instead I feel anxious. I’m not exactly sure if the paper is precisely what the professor wanted or if the thesis is blatant enough to jump out and kowtow properly. (Not to attack the specific professor whom assigned the paper.)
I’m just getting a little tired of orders. Deadlines, assignments, quick presentation and shelving of ideas. I’d like to linger a bit; I’d enjoy taking things a little more slowly. I’ll live… I’m going to bed, and tomorrow I’ll be so busy I’ll have little time to wonder if this is really living. Goodnight, I wish for you a pleasant slumber as well – to escape the monotony that success demands.