Hello, A

I said I was working long days,
Apparently, that wasn’t your concern.
Persistence was one of your ways,
This, I would so shortly learn.

How many messages? Only a few.
Until I agreed to move it to chat…
Then you almost immediately knew.
Though it was too soon to say that.

As for me, I was skeptical, to be frank.
You seemed too good to be true.
But as we talked, the deeper I sank…
Into an undeniable love for you.

Hundreds of hours holding my cell phone,
The light of the screen illuminating your face…
It was an interesting transition from being alone,
And I knew right away, I would come to your place.

The weeks of communication flew by so fast,
Time would blur together, every day into night,
We had clearly found what we sought, at last…
It was unmistakable to us – everything felt right.

The night before I would take my flight,
I wasn’t filled with a trace of a doubt,
Such a beautiful future was finally in sight…
I was overjoyed to have you to be excited about.

in thought

I will the world to vanish
To up and dissapear
Erase itself from reality
Leaving me right here

I dismiss it with a wave
Then turn my gaze away
Back to contemplation
No world for me today

the last days

Death is an inevitability.
You know that, I know that.
Even when it is your grandmother.

There are there only two things that change,
The tears in your eyes and sadness in your heart.
Because she happens to be your grandmother.

You have seen here her before,
She stared death down and dismissed him.
But this time you know she will not walk away.

She’s had a wonderful life – you reassure yourself,
She might be old enough – you try and reason through this.
It still hurts; no one wants to lose their grandmother.

If it wasn’t this, it would be something else, some other time.
It’s an inescapable inevitability for everyone you have ever met.
Knowing all of this does very little good; she’s your grandmother.

And as much as it bothers you, as much as it hurts you,
You can hardly imagine what your own mother feels.
Or how your grandfather can sit there without constantly sobbing.

Because your grandmother is her only mother.
And your grandmother happens to be the very love of his life.
As personal as it feels, this is hardly about how you feel at all.

There is absolutely nothing anyone can do,
Even you, who often has so many of the answers,
You can only make her last days more comfortable.

So, you make her a pie. You kiss her when you see her.
More than anything, you let her know you love her.
Yes, because she is your grandmother, but also because…

In fact, she was so much to so many.
That’s exactly why it hurts so terribly.
You make the very most of those last days.

That is all you can do.